Culture matters 10: ATTITUDE TOWARDS FORMALITY

There are many differences between American and Austrian attitudes towards formality and it would take too long to go into every detail. Therefore I decided that I will pick only one part of this field, namely “Using first names with people you’ve just met”. The Peace Corps article says that in America people tend to do this, however, this isn’t true in Austria. There are many unwritten rules concerning how to address people and that is why I would like to tell everybody who’s not from a German-speaking culture more about those rules.

Background information: German does separate the personal pronoun “you” into a formal “Sie” (goes with the last name) and a more informal “du” (goes with the first name).

Adult +adult
An adult would use the polite and distanced “Sie”-form to address another adult he/she doesn’t know too well. At some point one of the two might offer the other person the more informal “Du”, unless they only meet because of occupational interests. For example, parents are unlikely to call a teacher “du” and especially higher ranked teachers (like “Professoren”) are unlikely to ever offer the “du”.

How to offer the informal “Du”: If you’re not used to the customs you better wait until the other person offers the informal pronoun, since you have to have a feeling for how long it takes to do that. If you offer the “du” to early, Austrians might think you’re too intrusive and if you ask later than usual here, people might assume you’re cagey. If you’re confident that you already know when to do so then you can use many different ways to ask. The most common way is to reintroduce yourself by using the first name only. It’s common to start with a small introduction (one sentence is sufficient) in which you explain why you find it appropriate to use the “du” now. For example, you could say, “Jetzt kennen wir uns schon so lange und siezen uns immer noch. Ich bin die Eva/…”. However, as I told you before, don’t do that if you’re not familiar with the customs.

Adult + teenager
Adults normally use the informal pronoun to address teenagers, but legally they would have to say “Sie” to them as soon as they are 14 or older. Therefore, teachers in Austria ask them at that age which form they prefer, but most classes agree that they want to stay with the “du”. At the university, however, all lecturers use the impersonal form.

Adult+child
All children are addressed with “du”, of course, even if those adults don’t know the child.

Teenager and adult
Teenagers are supposed to use the “Sie”-form with adults they don’t know well. And yet, many teenagers say “du” to adults unless they are their teachers or in other jobs of high hierarchAll young people use the informal pronoun to refer to each other. y. For example, I noticed that sales clerks are often addressed with “du”, even if they are much older, which is, of course, highly impolite.

Teenager/child+ child/teenager
All young people use the informal pronoun to refer to each other.

Anyone + pet
Since many people who have pets speak to their darlings, I thought it might also be worth mentioning that Austrians use the "du"-form to do so.

To sum up, there are much more rules concerning formality in Austria than in America- this is just one example. Just think of the importance of titels in Austria or of the way people visit each other (you need at least an oral invitation). That, however doesn't mean people are not as open as in America, that we don't want to see our friends etc. There are just more rituals around all those actions, which we consider normal.